I'm making stuff that I really enjoy: A Conversation with Abby Waisler
Collage by Jood.
Seeing the growth of online magazines founded by youth, All My Friends is a magazine one can never miss. Abby Waisler is the founding editor-in-chief of All My Friends, a warm online space for young creatives. I sat with Abby sometime in August, a virtual screen splitting us apart at the heights of lockdown and the pandemic. We discussed having to run online publications, creative blocks, and reaching the unattainable.
JOOD ALTHUKAIR: Describe your cultural upbringing; what made you start and how did you nurture your creativity for you to start your own magazine?
ABBY WAISLER: That’s a really great question. I’ve been super lucky, both of my parents are artists. So growing up, I think it was kind of always like a given that I would end up doing something creative in my life, which could be for better or worse, because, you know, there wasn’t really a different path that was shown to me from a young age, but I am very happy with where I’ve gone. I think that my surroundings from a young age were very influenced by creativity and not closing myself off to looking at the world in a more artistic way. I remember when I was really young, I was telling my dad, “I hate math! I hate math so much!” and he would say, “Look at it as art, look at it as something creative rather than a silly math subject.” I think my family definitely heavily influenced where I am now, not sure if I’m gonna be doing this forever, but I definitely think whatever I am doing in the future will be affected by what I’ve done now and what I’ve learned in the past.
So what was the tipping point that made you decide you wanted to start All My Friends, and did you aim for it to go big, or were you more easygoing and wanted to go with whatever that might happen?
For a really long time, a “zine” to me was a handmade, tiny little piece of paper that was very physical, and that was really what I went into it thinking how it was going to be. But I was just like, “I’m making fun stuff that I really enjoy, and I feel like there are a lot of collectives and magazines that cater to an older community, and I couldn’t resonate with that as much. I was shy and didn’t know what to do, so I thought, “Maybe I’ll ask my friends to do this with me.” And we made a 50-page little handmade piece of paper, and then it kind of went from there. It was definitely the lack of knowing where to go and taking things into your own hands and making something for yourself.
Did you get immediate feedback or were you more slow in the beginning?
It’s really funny, because we had 500 followers on Instagram for the first six months of doing it. It was just my friends and some people I knew through the magazine, but it was not really picking up at all. It’s weird because I thought it wasn’t a big deal for me to sit down and decide I wanted it to be a big space for people. The lack of growth was partially from my point, because I didn’t really have an interest in building it.
What are your current favorite things? And what are your current online obsessions?
That’s such a good question! So I’m on TikTok, which I have a love-hate relationship with, because I think there’s a lot of toxic things about the app—but so is with every app. I really love the artist side of TikTok. I'm inspired by something new everyday on the app, so that’s definitely one of my favorite things, but I spend an embarrassing amount of time on that app. I’m also a big fan of Pinterest, and I think it’s a very strong tool, creatively. James Charles is my guilty pleasure, I love watching his videos [laughs]. He’s really funny, he’s not really good at singing, but good for him, he doesn’t care what people think.
What are your current favorite songs?
Phoebe Bridgers’ new album is so good. I’ve been listening to it nonstop since it came out. Definitely Kyoto, or Punisher are really up there for me, right now. And this band called Thanks for Coming, they’re featured in our next issue and their music is really, really good.
Was there something specific that impacted you while running All My Friends?
I think there’s been a lot of things—a lot of positives and a lot of negatives, but especially recently with the climate the US and the world is in, I’ve been taking a step back and as a white person in this position, how am I taking away voices from people who are being silenced, because I’m benefiting from a system that allows me to have my voice be louder than others. So recently I’ve been trying to take a step back and try to push people who have been silenced to the front, and I think that has shown in a bunch of different ways within the magazine. White people need to be doing better in this society. Just really trying to be open and welcoming to everyone has really been something that I’ve been thinking about a lot.
What is the most memorable experience that you’ve felt lucky you’ve lived through if it weren’t for All My Friends?
Definitely the people I’ve been able to meet! Sometimes I’m like, “How lucky am I to be able to have these relationships with people who would’ve been strangers and I’ve probably gone my whole life without meeting?” I have these moments with my editors and I think, “Oh, my gosh, is this real life?” I just feel so lucky to have relationships been made through this magazine.
When you’re facing a creative slump, how often do you take breaks? Describe your process in recharging.
I consider myself in one, right now. I always feel lucky to have a platform, but sometimes it’s hard to be motivated all the time. When life slumps happen, I think it’s a real blessing for me to have a platform. I call it a “healthy distraction”, whether or not it’s healthy, who knows? I feel like I’m able to come back to it and have that be a distraction to the “life stuff” that is going on. But when it comes to creative slumps, I was once in a call with Kyla, one of the founders of Pure Nowhere—which are amazing, by the way—and she was talking about how they have this phrase “going under the covers”. It’s when you feel like you can’t be creative. It really stuck with me, because it feels like an accurate way to describe the feeling of when you want to hide from it and don’t want to work or think about it. And I think it’s so important to have that time, because A) when you come out of it, it shows you how much you care about what you’re doing, and B) it lets you take a step back and look at it from a different point of view than the “creator’s” standpoint. In my experience, creative slumps have been beneficial in the end, but it’s definitely hard when you’re in it, because you don’t know where to go. What I like to do is put some music on, and scroll through TikTok or Pinterest and see someone do a project or a work of art, and I think “Okay, I’ve got this, it’s time for me to get back into it.” And it may take a few days or be uncomfortable for a while, but I think it definitely helps.
When you founded All My Friends, did it in any way help you in your creative awakening, or have you essentially found yourself or discovered more about yourself when navigating a creative platform?
Yeah, definitely. I think that it goes back to how lucky I’ve been with the relationships that I have formed. I have close friends that I call my “non-IRL-life”—but obviously everything is real life. I have met people through the magazine that are so similar to me in so many ways, and I think it’s much harder to find that in an unsaturated environment, like school, for example. I think it’s broader in a school environment, whereas we’re in a creative environment where everyone is there for the same reason. Some of the conversations I’ve had and the friendships I’ve made through AMF have given me a really different outlook on my life and how I lead my life. I definitely had eye-opening experiences that have helped me form my personality and morals, as well as the things I want to work on in the long-run.
Do you ever feel like you and your magazine are interconnected? Because for me, I’ve been working on Sumou for two years, and I feel like every work I do for the magazine is for me as well. So it never felt like work. Do you ever feel like you’re one person and never get tired of it?
Definitely, 100%. I think it’s a rare and lucky thing that we’re able to do—that we have these platforms that, at least for me, I see myself in All My Friends, and I see my personality and my friendships in the magazine. It’s definitely what you’re describing. With all of the issues we’ve done, I feel like each is very reflective of my current personalities, and I 100% agree. I think we’re very cohesive and similar.
We’ve only got one last question: Our issue title is, Faraway: All the Things We Can’t Touch. What are some of the dreams, or the things you want to attain or experience that you still haven’t reached yet?
I think quarantine helped me realize a little bit more that I’m very comfortable with being with myself—whether that’s healthy or not. I think that I’ve developed a safety within not having to see my friends in-person and not being around them. But also within that, I’ve realized I don’t really trust myself very much. I’m very wary of my capabilities, even though I can provide a safe space for myself, I’m still doubtful of my full abilities. That’s definitely something I think aligns with self-love and something that I’ve been working on for a long time. It’s kind of like self-sabotage sometimes, which is not a good thing, but I’ve definitely noticed that I have been able to be with myself, but unable to love the self that I’m with. That is something I’m working towards and trying to get better at, and hoping it will be better soon. ◆
Jood is the founder of this site. Find her on Instagram.